my world is totally up-side down. cant do anything except studying. juz now cecilia called using her house number and is in witheld. which mean is private number. and i thought it was him. but is not. and jingwei is right. i'm a loser. nothing but a loser. a very simple thing such as dun contact him i also cannot do it. and he always break promises. arghhhhhhh... cant believe the effort for the past few weeks have gone down the drain. arghh.. wadever. exams coming soon. also no time to bother abt him.. i guess.. studies is more important!!


juz watch shallow hal. i wan to find a guy like hal. a guy who do not see the beauty on the outside but in the inside. sigh. but i didnt even have beauty inside me. wdv wdv wdv~

Yo. I'm back. Hahaz. Went alot of places to do projects for da past few days and got lots of communicatuon problems occur. But now ok liao. Well. Maybe gg Orchard with frens later. And i miss him alot. He now at Malaysia ba. Keep throwing temper at him for da past few days. And i hope this will keep him away from me. But instead he keep asking me wad is wrong. Arghh. Wad is happening to me? i cant seem to keep my mind off him nowadays. Arghh. Guess wad. Went to watch Lady In The Water ytd at west mall and i feel weird. Cuz i everytime went to watch movie with him at West mall but ytd dun have. But i feel happy dat i'm able to attend fengling birthday. Lurve her and all my gang members although lots of them didnt make it ytd. Well. This week alot of pple birthday sia. Like Lebon, Fengling and Victor. He is so old le la. I mean Victor. I think he is 29 or 30 liao. Hahaz. Ok la. Enough crapping. Tml got presentation for PAS. And now NSL is mostly practice liao. So guess ca relax abit. And we done CNP liao. Hahaz. We so kaisu but good la. Got time to study liao. K la. Dat all. Will make more time to blog. And i miss everyone. Muack muack. Tataz~

Today is my class belated Racial Harmony Day. took alot of photos but lazy to post. wahaha. Well. A very nice day to be with my whole class together for d whole day but not so well as i got a few embarassing moments. well. dun feel lik toking abt it. anyway. projects coming up and may not have the time to blog so often now. will blog if anything special. hahaz. that all for today. Tataz~

Yoz. Wahaha. Went alot of place ytd. K. Went sch for PAS lesson. Fine. Easier then i tot. Den went NTUC to shop! Bought alot of food. Den watch King and the Clown on youtube. Haven finish watching haha. Den went BP to find Melissa. Her fren took part in TEENIDOL. But nv finish watching la. Went to Cine to find Clarice. And bought one shirt and ear ring. So nice!! Haha. Den WEIXIANG CHANG SEN YIXIN and her sis join us. So went slacking ard. Fun. Den CECILIA join us after meeting her sweetheart. And CHANGSEN cousin join us too. He is LEDON. Haha. After dat the gals went home left me. Den we went Boat Quay. Go pubbing. Went Eski Bar. Drank Lychee Martini. NICE!! And tok and tok. Den went to another pub. Kao. I at there like crazy sia. I dunno why but i drank alot. Even beer. Juz gulp gulp den finish. Den i think i begin to act abnormal den the guys dun let me drink liao. Den let me drink warm water. Den keep gg toilet. Hahaz. Den sang song and play dice lo. Chat lo. Den after dat went eat prata and they send me home. Was chatting on the trip home dey dun let me sleep. So bad. Then this monday got headache. Arghh. Sianz. No more pubbing till holidays! And i hate hangover!!!!!! Tataz~

Esmond. Happy? Hahaz. Big and clear ba. Erm. today is not a gd day ba. dun really feel like toking abt it. but today took alot of photos. hahaz. den something happen which totally spoiled everyone day. and i finally tok it out with him and he had make it clear to me. no use hanging on liao. so wish me i will find my prince soon ba. and whoever is dat angel vs wdv black demon. i dun really care abt ur comment. wad i matter most is my frens. and i guess u arent really my fren. WDV WDV WDV Tataz~
upload photo another time.

THIS ENTRY IS DECIATED TO MY BEST FRENS.... PHINE XUELING LILING HANLEE FENGLING CECILIA YIXIN NELSON and JINGWEI...
When I was in Sec1, I was a very unpopular gal. I was shunned by everyone. Even my best frens shunned me. But i carried on with life till Sec2. I got a drama programme and i'm teamed with me 'ex' best fren. Initially, we were all pai seh and blah blah blah. But we soon go back to the same and i really thanks that programme cuz it bring me back all my frens. Sec 2 is really a very happy years and all. We used to gg to find HANLEE and LILING as they were sitting behind. So a group of gals will usually crowd over dere and tok tok lo. It usually have ME, PHINE,XUELING,CECILIA, and FENGLING. YIXIN haven really joined us at dat time. We will usually hang out at the plaza after sch. That how i pass my life in sec2. With tears and joys. Reaching Sec3. I was very bad in studies and dint make it to the same class with any of them. But our friendship continue to stay strong. We had recess tgt. Hang out tgt. Everything tgt. Especially me and PHINE. We will walk to sch tgt. Go church tgt. And even at that time we use to gossip abt guys. And helping me to advoid her class of guys(long long story). Towards the ending of Sec3. We were super close. She had fall in love with a guy(shall remained un-named) and i had too. Not the same guy la. But both guys we fall in love happen to be in the same group. Due to blindness of love we will do everything to see them. Even sneaking out 2am in the night and take cabs down to Pasir Ris. We will see each other everyday. Almost la. And reaching Chirstmas, she will sneak to my house and we will sew tgt.(i hope u guys still have the keychains we sewed!) We will sneak to 7-11 and being lock out by my dad. She comfort me when my mom went to Thailand for 5 days. (i'm a mommy gal) And dat was how we spent our Sec3 lifes. In Sec4. The most important year ofour life. The year we are suppose to take o'levels. But o level didnt seperate us. We study tgt. Although i was mostly toking. She listen and study. We studied very hard. And we taught LILING physics. And we get to know NELSON and JINGWEI. (I'll save that for later) After our o level we bonded even more. We got the same jobs and went to work tgt. get scolded tgt. And shopping tgt. It was dat time when we really got closed to NELSON and JINGWEI. We will hang out tgt. Initially everyone was shy and all. But after dat. All da evil faces came out. Haha. To my surprise, even XUELING soon joked with them too. First time. And we had conference calls everynight. Soon. PHINE went to hongkong. Icrng dat day. Cuz it was da first time i'm not gg to see for such a long period of time. And during dat time i really cant coped. Cuz everytime i got problem i will find her. But when she returned i found that we had distant. alot too. But i tried my best to bring back da lost time. In my heart she had always been my best fren. Nothing will change dat. She was da one who encourage me when i was giving up on my studies. Be there when i need Someone. But. I had disappointed her. She had drop out of sch and i now then found out. I'm not there when she need someone. I had been selfish. Caring only myself and i dint contact them. I realy loved them. Jingwei now is facing depression. Nelson with his studies. Liling is not gd. Everyone seem to be having their problems. But i didnt ask. I didnt cared. And now i'm trully ashamed of myself. I really wished to go back to the times when we haven start sch. When we went Jingwei hse. Had movie marthon. Play cocordile.Everything. Will u all forgive me? For my selfishness. Issit too late?

Today is a not so bad day to me. Had NSL and AAP today. Ok lo. Hahaz. Need to study for AAP quiz tml. Luckily is MCQ or i will die. Hahaz. Had a weird dream juz now(ya. i slept again) I dream dat i went to church and met alot of new pple. Hahaz. Very weird to me la. Den now sending song to CLARICE. Send finish i need to go study liao. Still thinking what to wear for tml presentation. Shit lo And feel terrible now. Haiz. Sianz. WDV TATAZ~


Okay. Here to update abt ytd. Too tired last night. Ytd although was a long day but all the lecture early dismissed by one hour. So spent alot of time in the library. Very sianz. Hahaz, Den went home and sleep and blah blah blah. Today went CECILIA's hse. Den do project den take cab down to sch and study lo. Den heard KADIR sing. OMG. He sing so good la. All of us intend to put his voice on our blog. This include ME DAJIE REGINA CECILIA AIVINA and ESMOND. but have to wait for the song first. Hahaz. Anyway. I now gg to watch tv liao. Tataz~

I"M SO TIRED! I had only three hours sleep last night and when reach home I went to sleeep and i juz woke up. OMG. But i'm still tired. Sch is still da same. Nothing special lo. Tml gg Cecilia hse to do project! So i guess i better go sleep again. Oh man.! I"M A PIG! Tataz~

He called. I didnt pick up. First time. Will he msg me tml? I dunno. But i'm gg to show him i can live without him and he is da one who cannot live without me.


Went to watch Pivrate of the Carribean at Cine juz now. With my HSN darlinks plus 3 Year 2 senior. Sat beside Kadir. And half way through I was so cold and tired dat i rest my head at his shoulder. Hahaz. Thanks hoh. The movie was so funny. I love it. If can i wanna watch it again. HE called when i was watching the movie. And to my surprised i lied to him dat i'm watching it alone. Dunno why. Hmmm. Feel like i'm being treated like dirt. Dun ever wanna answer his calls and mgses again. Becuz of him i told myself not to go clubbing with my frens. Becuz of him i promised myself not to hug anyone anymore. Becuz of him i get curfew. Becuz of him i got depress and end up my frens getting depress too. Becuz of him i dunno shed how many litres of tears. But not anymore. I'm gg tobreak every promised i had with him. Since he treated me like dirt wad for i hang on. Is not like i got no other guys! I wiLL MAKE HIM REGRET. I HATE YOU. Anyway. gg to watch Full house liao. Tataz~


P.S: HEY. PLS REMIND ME NOT TO MSG HIM ANYMORE> DUN CONTACT HIM ANYMORE>



Sometimes i ask myself wad i wan in life. Being a nurse is my dream since sec2. And i'm a nurse le. At least, i'm in nursing course. I have two really great bunch of frens. I'm still able to have money to eat and take transport. I got a great family. But i feel lacking of something. I guess is love ba. Since dunno when. I have been looking forward to it. But everytime it juz let me down. Again and again. But i still believe it will come eventually till now. I'm sick and tired of it le. I'm not desperate. Juz dat i really look forward to it lo. Haiz. Dun feel like touching it ever again. Wdv ba. Like wad Hilary Duff had said in A CINDERELLA STORY''Waiting for u is like waiting for rain in a drought'' I totally agree. WDV WDV WDV~


This is a prove of me acting cute. Hahaz. I dunno why. But i love taking photos. And i'm very confidence when i'm taking photos. But when u see da real me, i look like kanasai. Hahaz. I'm super no confidence la. I guess. But cannot help it la. I tried liao lei. Haiz. Today didnt make it for discussion at DAJIE hse. My ankle only not so swollen now. But still swollen lo. Hate the bus driver la. Haiz. Later still need to go my grandparent hse. Luckily my dad driving. K la. Blog again tonight. Hahaz. So sorry my DAJIE CECILIA and GEETA. And to VICTOR too. I promised to go next sunday ok?? Tataz~

P.S: dun u think u are caring for me too much liao. Haiz. Like my dad sia. Dun make me miserable all over again.

OMG. I'm gg to sue the bus driver who was driving bus 960. I was standing at da bus stop waiting for my bus which is 960 and usually when it came there will be alot of pple to board. And suay suay i'm da ;ast one. So one of my leg is on the bus. AND den the bus move!!! OMG. I so shocked dat i didnt know wad to do. As in to try to squeeze in or to get off the bus. And den the other sec i landed on the floor. AND I WAS WEARING A SKIRT!! And i can feel a sting in my ankle. I think i hurt it when falling. So suay la. Den nobody pull me up. And i have to climb up myself. Haiz. Anyway. I bought a skirt. Hahaz. Was suppose to buy blouse but cant find any nice one. So end up buying a skirt. K la. I nid to rest liao. Tataz~

Juz came back. I went to watch superman. WOW. So damn nice la. Hahaz. After dat went to eat supper. Tml gg to my great grand mother birthday. Hmm. Dun really feel like gg. If got any other programme i will most probably skip it. haha. Anyway. I gg to play my game now. Tataz~

Due to the complaining of my fellow frens, I've decide to make big my font. Happy?? Hahaz. Feel so bored now. Stupid guy ask me go out. Den till now haven confirm. Next time dun wanna go out with him liao. Well. I have been slacking haha. Next week will hardworking liao. Dats all. And ya. I pon the first two lecture today! Blah. Hahaz. Tataz~


These are my HSN babes. No mood. Tataz~

Yipee. Watched MISTRESS OF SPICES ytd. It was a great movie lo. Hahaz. But something disgusting happened! Forget it. Dont wanna talk abt it. And yesh! I finally finished all my works! And all my result. Sigh. I got 1 A, 2 B and 2 F. All my result so extreme. Forget it. Hahaz. GG to be super busy from now on. LOts of project coming up and blah blah blah. Just now i actually stress till i have tears in my eyes. Den i called him. Felt better. Hahaz. I guess he like my dad ba. haha. i treat him lik my dad liao. Hahaz. gtg.Tataz~

Hahaz. Now having break and using ESMOND's lappie to blog. hahaz. Actually need to do hwk de but lazy la. Hahaz. Anyway. Today is boring day. But later in the night maybe go Esplanade. Hahaz. Gt nightview to see. Gtg. DAJIE need to use. Hahaz. Tataz~



P.S: I will blog tml. Tonight not free. Hahaz.

First day of sch! Hahaz. I was late. Well not alone. In fact the whole class was late. Hahaz. Well. Failed my PAS by 1.5 mark. So i guess i should work hard. Hmm. Den after sch went library slack lo. Hahaz. STEPHEN and KADIR joined us after their classes. Then contiune to slacked. Hahaz. After dat they want to go watch superman but i didnt joined la. Cuz i spendin alot of $$. Hahaz. So may have to wait awhile before i can watch movie again. Hmm. I'm so hook on to SHAKIRA's Hips Dont Lie. Hahaz. And DANIEL's Bad Day. Anyway. Gtg. I need to eat my Chicken! And do my 1000 words essay. Tataz~

Yoz. I'm back! Hahaz. Went my ah gong he juz now. Juz slack lo. Eat alot of junk food! Hahaz. Then i went plaza with my dearest MUMMY. She so good!! Bought me a blusher. Hahaz. Den i buy an eye shadow for myself. So i'm gonna make up tml. Hahaz. Erm. Dunno will be nice ma. Hahaz. Feeling happer and lighter every mintue. Hahaz. Tml starting sch le. Quite looking forward to it but i will also miss my slacking mood. Hahaz. Well. I'm looking on the bright side. Hope i get to watch superman with my HSN darlings tml. But dunno lei. Hahaz. Anyway. I think i will go now. Hahaz. I wanna play hexic. So.Tataz~

Hahaz. Ytd was a breif post la. Today blog more detail. Erm. Went to kbox on wed with DAJIE CLARICE ESTHER and ESMOND. Den i was not feeling well so decide to go home first but something happen lo. Haiz. I fainted in da bus la. So stupid sia. I forget to eat medicine. Haiz. So when i woke up i'm already in hospital den was being put on drip and blah blah blah. Thur went tampines lo. So sianz la. Fri also. Nothing much happen. Den ytd went back sch with CECILIA DAJIE and CLARICE to do journal. Well. i manage to finish more than half la. But CLARICE was watching full house. Hahaz. I doubt she manage to finish lo. Den STEPHEN and KADIR also gt join us. Hehe. But after they went we start to chat lo. Den me and CLARICE chat till 8++ sia. Hahaz. Den take bus home. Then start to change blogskin and blah blah blah. Haha. Didnt went to church as was having a fever last night. Hmm. Now ok le ba. Haha. And to my surprise JOANNA from BPP pet shop ask me to go Devils. But rejected lo. Hahaz. Cuz i heard there got lots of ang moh and very expensive. feel kinda slack now. Cuz i didnt really want to start sch. But sort of looking forward to it too. Able to see my frens everyday. So sort of got its pro and cons ba. Recently saw i movie call RE-CYCLE. Well. I think it is a great move. Hahaz. Very touching in the end. But if u are looking for scary parts they are not much lo. I still want to watch SUPERMAN. Hahaz. Maybe gg to watch tml with my HSN darlings ba. See first lo. Anyway. I'm out of my depressio mood liao. Hahaz. No more depressive post from now on. I wan everyone to be happy! Hahaz. Gtg. Gg to my ah gong house for dinner. long time nv see them liao. Tataz~



P.S: to CLARICE and DAJIE. Thanks for the talk ytd. I really think abt it liao. Hahaz. Love u guys! And all my Gang member(u know who u are). Also my HSN darlings. Hehez.

FINALLY. Finsh changing blogskins. Hahaz. I lik tis bogskin more. It make me more happier. Forgetting the past. Time to move on. I love tigger! I am as cute as it. Hahaz. I love my life now. Juz dat i need more confidence ba. Hahaz. feel lik drinking honey. anyway. gt a fever of 39 degree now. Hahaz. think muz go rest liao. Later gt alot of pple nag. Hahaz. At least i now know got lots lots lots of pple care abt me! Tataz~


Today i'm not gg to tok abt my day. Instead i'm gg to tok abt my mood lately. I dunno la. But i sort of realised i'm being left out. Very much. Sigh. I dunno la. Maybe i think too much or wad lo. But juz feel dat no one really pay attention to me. This feeling really sucks. It make me wanna go back to the past. Haiz. I think it is time for me to give up le. I think i will become to the old depressive me one yr and 3 mths ago. The gal who was so sickly and depressive dat everyone is afraid of her. Forget it la. Who cares anyway? I'm juz a living dead person. Noone really care about me....................




Tiring day today. I woke up at 5.45 am. Reach Yio Chu Kang mrt at 7am. But NICOLE was late den we reach Bright Vision at ard 8.30am. The nurse is not happy lo. Then we have to make up one hour and thirty min. Wheni first reach my ward which is Compassion. The staff nurse taught me how to read da case sheet. Hmm. Den da milk come so i served to da ah gong ah ma dere. Den starting to get busier. I have to clean shits. Feed patients. Frankly la. All those who was attachment at dere only tok to da ah ma and ah gong while i tired myself to death. I even have to do da diabetic test on one ah gong. U know da needle prick da finger den squeeze da blood out?? Rmb?? I was so freak out when da staff nurse ask me to do lo. But she insisted i do so i do lo. But i think i learn alot. Compared to the others. I was trying to discuss with them but they didnt know wad i 'm toking lo. I do every thing from feeding patient to giving out medicine to clearing their shits. Ai ya. In short, i look lik da staff nurse dere instead of a student nurse. Anyway, tml will be lik dat ba. So gg to sleep early tonight. Tataz~


P.S:sorry weixiang. i throw tantrum at u today. promise i will not again!

Feeling quite depressive now. Arghh. Nvm. Today is quite a fun day. Got to know alot of frens. And had dinner with a fellow nurse. Hahaz. Tml is da attachment at yio chu kang. Will be expecting alot of hands on ba. Hmm. Got to wake up early. Headache sia. Need to take mrt somemore. I hate mrt lo. Haiz. Having a bad headacge now. Miss him alot. Gtg. I lurve everyone. But does everyone lurve me?? Tataz~

I'm back. Back from JW hse. Had a fun time dere. Eating steamboat and slacking ard. Actually wanted to go watch movie with PHINE de. But i realised dat i no money le. *+*SORRY NEI*+* Later gg to watch world cup with KIM GUAN. Haha. I so shocked when see his msg lo. Hahaz. He coming to my hse downstair at 9 later. Den we go eat dinner. Hahaz. Long time nv see him le. Think dat it is time for me to move on le. Hahaz. I think i gg to VICTOR church tml. Sort of promise him. So muz wake up early again. Well. Tok again. Got to do some things. Hahaz. Tataz~

HEy. Juz came back. I almost missed da last bus sia. Thanks goodness i didnt. K. Tell u all wad have been gg on today. Today is da last day of da polyclinic attachment. Well. I think it ended quite well. Hahaz. Then i went home to take money, help mummy to buy dinner and changed clothes! Then we proceed to take bus 75 to Anson Rd to take 400 to Marina to celebrate DA JIE birthday. But i think me and CECILIA very stupid to believe NELSON words lo. He said it will take 35 mintues to reach dere. But we took more den a hour sia. In da end we juz took MRT which is more faster. hahaz. Had a great time with my darlings. Cuz i miss them alot. But something happen in the end. Anyway. I dun wanna tok abt it. Hmm. I think me and esmond very alike sia. So scary. Really lo. I nv tot dat there will be another person who is so same like me. And he is a male sia. Scary!! Anyway. I geeting lazier to type. So will update tml ba. Hahaz. Tml gg to JW hse to clelbrate PHINE birthday! Tataz~

jielinYO.




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