lykezomgz
insecure
Friday, March 27, 2009
i dont know what i want.
i dont know why i am doing all those things that make me look cheap & slut.
i dont know who i am anymore.
he said i am insecure.
insecure about life.
i live because i had to not because i wanted.
i dont have a goal.
how true.
i cried on his chest. & the door bell rang.
& i went back to my room.
i think abt it for the whole day.
who i am.
i used to tell my friends ya, i am gonna have sex only after i got married etcetc.
but. look me now.
i despise myself. despise the things i had done.
despise that i dont even feel regret and somehow somewhat proud that i had that kinda influence on guys.
i lose myself.
lost it to lust.
i betrayed myself just for the moment of pleasure.
toutou once exclaimed " wa, u change target very fast!"
it was then i realised i simply dont trust love.
to me there is no love. only lust.
incorrigible right.
the next time i say i love someone is the day i finally found myself.
for now, let me lose it all and sink to the lowest.